Cardinals-themed beer recipes!

I know this isn't the use to which we usually put this blog, but we haven't exactly put this blog to any use recently, so I'm just gonna go ahead and put this here. After all, who doesn't want homebrew recipes tenuously connected to the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals?

The first of these was brewed during the NLCS, the second the weekend after we won the series.  The Redbird Victory Ale is a recipe I'd been working on for a while and only recently repurposed as a Cardinals recipe, whereas the Altbier was from the very beginning conceived in Cardinality and dedicated to the proposition that the 2011 St. Louis Cardinals were created awesome.

Spirit of '64 Altbier

Before lager yeasts and brewing techniques became popular in Germany, ale yeasts were used for most beers. Once lagers largely displaced ales, the term "altbier," or "old beer," came into use to describe the older ale styles. Altbiers share many characteristics with lagers, particularly a clean malt character. I like them as fall beers.

One thing I really enjoyed about this postseason was watching Cardinal legends come back to the stadium to participate in the celebration, and hearing stories about some of the great teams from before I was born (I was two months old when Don Denkinger staked his claim to perpetual Cardinal nation infamy, for reference). I liked the idea of brewing an old beer style like this in honor of Cardinal history (and a nice fall beer to celebrate an October playoff run). So this is a recipe in honor of the great comeback Cardinals team--El Birdos--of 1964, Gibson and Shannon (who would probably prefer an ice cold frosty Budweiser, but oh well) and all the rest.

• 8.0 oz Munich Malt (9.0 SRM) Grain
• 2.1 oz Roasted Barley (300.0 SRM) Grain
• 8.0 oz Cara-Pils/Dextrine (2.0 SRM) Grain
• 8.0 oz Caramel/Crystal Malt - 80L (80.0 SRM)
• 1 lbs Wheat Dry Extract (8.0 SRM) Dry Extract
• 6 lbs 9.6 oz Pale Liquid Extract (8.0 SRM) Extract
• 1.20 oz Nugget [13.00 %] - Boil 60.0 min Hop
• 0.50 oz Hallertauer [4.80 %] - Boil 15.0 min Hop
• 0.50 oz Irish Moss (Boil 10.0 mins) Fining
• 0.50 oz Saaz [4.00 %] - Boil 3.0 min Hop
• 1.0 pkg German Ale (Wyeast Labs #1007) [124.21 ml] Yeast
• 0.50 oz Saaz [4.00 %] - Dry Hop 14.0 Days Hop

Original Gravity:  1.058         ABV:  5.8%            IBU:  32

Redbird Victory Ale

This is a pretty basic hoppy American Red Ale. It's a recipe I'd been working on for a while, based originally on North Coast's Red Seal Ale. Now named in celebration of the Cards.

• 1 lbs Victory Malt (25.0 SRM) Grain
• 8.0 oz Caramel/Crystal Malt - 40L (40.0 SRM) Grain
• 10.9 oz Cara-Pils/Dextrine (2.0 SRM) Grain
• 6 lbs 9.6 oz Pale Liquid Extract (8.0 SRM) Extract
• 1 lbs Wheat Dry Extract (8.0 SRM) Dry Extract
• 2.1 oz Chocolate Malt (350.0 SRM) Grain
• 1.00 tsp Gypsum (Calcium Sulfate) (Mash 60.0 mins) Water Agent
• 1.00 oz Columbus (Tomahawk) [14.00 %] - Boil 60.0 min Hop
• 0.50 oz Cluster [7.00 %] - Boil 60.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Amarillo Gold [8.50 %] - Boil 20.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Columbus (Tomahawk) [14.00 %] - Boil 20.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Amarillo Gold [8.50 %] - Boil 10.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Columbus (Tomahawk) [14.00 %] - Boil 10.0 min
• 0.50 oz Irish Moss (Boil 10.0 mins) Fining
• 0.13 oz Amarillo Gold [8.50 %] - Boil 5.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Columbus (Tomahawk) [14.00 %] - Boil 5.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Amarillo Gold [8.50 %] - Boil 2.0 min Hop
• 0.13 oz Columbus (Tomahawk) [14.00 %] - Boil 2.0 min Hop
• 2.0 pkg Safale American (DCL/Fermentis #US-05) [50.28 ml] Yeast
• 0.40 oz Amarillo Gold [8.50 %] - Dry Hop 14.0 Days
• 0.25 oz Columbus (Tomahawk) [14.00 %] - Dry Hop 14.0 Days

Original Gravity:  1.058.       ABV:  6.0&           IBU:  40

SoyRizo Surpise

The wisdom and inspiration for this next dish was bestowed upon me by my dear friend Kristin, a good soul who’s extremely dedicated to her work in social change and extremely organized when it comes to taking on the man.

However, it seems that in terms of prioritizing doing guest posts on incredibly hip, insightful, and irreverent blogs, she’s kind of a lazy jerk.

Thus, I post on her behalf a concoction she calls “SoyRizo Surprise.”

I highly recommend this dish to anyone and everyone affected by the current political tumult in the Middle East. The best part about its comforting flavors is that it will calm down oppressor and oppressed alike and allow each to wallow in its home-cooked goodness.

For example, imagine the following scene:

You’ve just come home from a day full of giving tax breaks, incentives, and cash giveaways to your people who you’ve surreptitiously stolen from for decades. You just can't understand why the plebes won't let bygones be bygones and continue to love you like they've done for the entirety of your tyrannical rule! At this point, all you want is to sit back, relax, forget about the barrage of police brutality you’ve unleashed upon the opposition movement, and put some tantalizing food in your mouth. SoyRizo surprise would be the perfect dish to order your seventeen servants to prepare for your sophisticated palette.

On the other hand: Imagine you’ve been selling dates at the local market for as long as the aforementioned dictator has been in the business of siphoning wealth to the tippy top. Finally, you, your friends, family, and neighbors are taking to the streets in an organic movement to overthrow monarchical madness and no amount of money they throw at you can stop it. The perfect thing to feed your popular inspiration: That’s right: SoryRizo Surpise.

Check it out…

SoyRizo Surprise

(serves six, though sometimes it’s more like three because it’s so f***ing tasty that you eat more than you normally do but it’s ok because it’s good for you so why not eat a bit more, right?)

Ingredients:

2 tbsp olive oil

1 large yellow onion (diced)

2-3 cloves garlic (chopped)

1 bunch green onions (diced)

1 zucchini (sliced)

1 summer squash (sliced)

1 green bell pepper (diced)

2 cans diced tomatoes

1 bunch kale or spinach (chopped)

1 package fake chorizo or sausage

1 package of feta cheese

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp basil

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp red pepper flakes

In a large saucepan (the bigger the better because there are a shit-load of veggies in this dish). First, you have to make the base nice and flavorful, so chop up your garlic, yellow and green onions, heat up the olive oil, and then simmer all of that deliciousness on low heat for around 10 minutes, or until translucent.

Then start adding vegetables according to how long they cook. I’ve put them in the ingredient list in the relative order of how they should go in: Zucchini and squash first, then bell pepper. At this point, you can add in whatever other veggies you have in the fridge. The best part about soyrizo surprise is that it’s different every time I make it. Last time I made it, I didn’t have any squash, so I replaced it with broccoli, carrots, and red peppers. The time before, it had eggplant. The point is, just don’t be so f***ing anal about it. This is another recipe that you basically can’t f*** up.

It’s going to be tasty, and there are so many other things you can stress out about in life. Just trust in Motherf***ing Black Beans’ ability to deliver! If you really can’t figure it out, and this blog is adding heaping spoonfuls of anxiety to your life, first, get a f***ing grip, and second, send an e-mail to getagripyouf***ingweenie@idontcare.com with your concerns, and the moderators will be sure not to respond to your silly inquiry.

Back to the recipe: Once you’ve got all the veggies in minus the canned tomatoes and the kale, start spilling in the spices: basil, oregano, paprika, and red pepper flakes are what I’ve recommended. Gives it a nice, flavorful, spicy kick.

Cook the veggies for a couple of minutes. You want them to be pretty cooked, but it’s ok if they’re not fully done because the next step is to dump in the canned tomatoes, cover, and simmer for 20 minutes.

At minute 20, throw in the kale and cover again.

So while the veggies are simmering, whip out the faux kielbasas, cut ‘em up into ¼ inch put some oil on a skillet, and cook ‘em until they’re done. This usually takes around 5-8 minutes, but you’ll know they’re done when they start browning. If the need to try one in order to verify it’s consistency overtakes you, then listen to that need and chomp into that chorizo. It’s all processed bullsh** anyway (the food chemistry wizards have outdone themselves with the kind of faux sausage I get), so don’t worry about ebola, ecoli, SARS, or Anthrax poisoning if you don’t think it’s quite done yet.

Alright, so you’re veggies are simmered, the kale is a nice dark green color swimming around in a tantalizing pool of tastiness, the sausage is set aside, and the drool is seeping out the side of your mouth because you can’t wait to eat that sh**. But it’s not done yet, so suck in your mouth water and grab the feta.

Crumble the feta up in your hand and put it in the stewy goodness, stirring until it’s almost completely melted into the sauce.

Now turn off the heat, toss the chorizo into the stew, and serve it up.

I recommend serving it over couscous, orzo, or some other base that will soak up the surprise.